The Muslim family

• Published date: 13 January 2023
• Publication title: Nigeria - The Nation

Preamble

His (Allah's) sign is that He created mates for you of your own kind that you may find peace of mind through them, and He has put love and tenderness between you. In that are signs for people who can reflect.' Q.30:21

Modern civilization seems to have given a new connotation to the word family. By contemporary definition, that word has come to mean a man, his wife and children. This definition is contrary to that of Islam or what obtains in African culture.

In Africa as in Islam, family is an esoteric community that emphasizes the web of a pedigree. Such a pedigree may be by consanguinity, affinity or fosterage. The main essence of calling it a family is to give every member a sense of belonging and that of security. When family becomes larger than what a compound or a village can accommodate, it becomes a clan. Islam does not only recognize family setting with its legitimate norms and characteristics, it also gives adherence to those norms a pass mark in faith. In Islam, family is a major yardstick for measuring the seriousness of Muslims. That is why its definition transcends what the west now calls nucleus family. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) was reported to have said that: 'Marriage is part of my culture. Whoever is qualified to marry but refuses to do so is not part of me'. And, talking about family can only be in vain without reference to marriage.

Marriage

This discourse is not about marriage per se. It is rather about the family of a Muslim in all its ramifications, as prescribed by Islam. Besides ventilating the atmosphere for harmony and concord, a family is supposed to resolve any conflict among its members. But where a family is afflicted by disharmony, Islam has an alternative means of resolving conflicts. That alternative is the Shari'ah court.

Most Muslims, like non-Muslims, do not understand the essence of court beyond dishing out penalties or dissolving marriages. That is why most couples don't take their conflicts to courts until they have reached the point of divorce. If Nigerian Muslims thoroughly understand Islam, they would have known that going to court over matrimonial conflicts does not necessarily entail bitterness. It is the duty of the family to resolve any matrimonial conflict before it gets out of hands. But where the family fails, it becomes the duty of the local Mosque to resolve. It is only where both the family and the Mosque have failed that a matrimonial conflict can be taken to court for adjudication. And, even that...